btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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