No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He? As in you personified your dick?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize