i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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