What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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