hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I am available for nakedness
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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