Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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