that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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