not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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