I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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