After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
