She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
