doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
