just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
