if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
