Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
