of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
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Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
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I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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