This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
