Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
