yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
