i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
