Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
