I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
