girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize