Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
