carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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