i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
