I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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