Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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