i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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