dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Who died my cat blue again?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
