I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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