hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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