..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
