So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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