Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
