Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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