just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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