your parents love me but you hate me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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