I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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