Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize