We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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