My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
