I just cut my nipple shaving
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
