you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
