Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
