I don't think brook has ever known best
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
