Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
