How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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