As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
