And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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