If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
