Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
