can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
