I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
