who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
