I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
