I think my fart just growled at me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
