apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
