I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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