I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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