I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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