Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
