That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
