so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
